Because of You by Megan Nugen Isbell

Author:Megan Nugen Isbell [Nugen Isbell, Megan]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2017-07-24T16:00:00+00:00

~~~

I think we both wanted to forget about the night before. We needed it and I think we did a good job of it as we watched the football game. I was overly aware of Gabe beside me though. It felt like there had been a heavy cloud over me and I wanted it gone. I didn’t want anymore secrets between us. Gabe needed to know and I wasn’t going to wait.

“Why did you stay outside my apartment last night?” I asked him during a commercial break.

“Because I was afraid for you, Sam. I was afraid he’d come back,” he answered. “I wasn’t going to let him hurt you.”

I saw his eyes drifting slowly to my exposed arms. I knew what he was looking at: the faded purple bruises from where Tyler had grabbed me at the pub. I wondered if some of it was from where he’d grabbed me last night too.

“I know you’re afraid of him. I saw it in your eyes in the hospital when Rachel was telling me about him and I saw it last night. You looked terrified.” His voice was soft and gentle. I knew he was proceeding with caution around me and I didn’t blame him, not after what had happened the night before.

“Tyler put his hands on me for the first time on our third date,” I began out of nowhere, my voice soft and shaking. I watched his back stiffen and then he reached for the remote, turning off the TV and facing me. I was grateful for the quiet. I needed to focus if I was going to tell him everything I planned to.

He turned to face me and I could tell he was afraid to say anything, almost like if he did, it would startle me and I wouldn’t speak anymore.

“We’d gone to a club and he was drunk. He thought I was flirting with this guy,” I began, closing my eyes as I thought back to that night. “He dragged me outside and threw me against the wall. Called me a slut and said he wouldn’t tolerate it. When he let me go, we went back inside. I snuck out once he was busy and went home. He showed up the next day with flowers and apologies and all the right words. He promised it would never happen again. I believed him. I believed he would change, but he didn’t.” I paused for a moment, wishing I could go back in time and change my life. “It only got worse though. He’d do something and I always took him back. I told myself I was lucky someone like him would love someone like me. I told myself it wouldn’t always be like that. He was so good at making me believe he was sorry and that he wanted to change.” I felt my lip trembling, but I told myself to hold it together. I think Gabe could see I was on the verge of breaking down and he came closer to me, cautiously taking my hand in his, waiting for me to go on.

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